Reclaiming Creativity and Healing Through Art with Krishna Kayastha

Reclaiming creativity and healing through art is essential because you’re innately creative, even if you’re someone who wouldn’t label yourself as “a creative.” Many of people learn to disconnect from their creativity as children because self-expression doesn’t feel safe, pressure to do art “right” surrounded it with perfectionism, and internalized productivity prioritizing. All of these have an impact on our mental health. This is why reclaiming space for creativity for creativity sake can be integral in a healing journey. Additionally, having space held for you can be healing for access to your authentic expression.

In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Krishna Kayastha (she/her) to join me in a conversation about reclaiming creativity and healing through art.

Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:

• Lessons learned through motherhood
• Releasing perfectionism and embracing play
• Supporting your mental health through journaling
• The necessity of allowing yourself space 

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:
The Artist's Way

CONNECT WITH KRISHNA:
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Weekly Journal Prompts

CONNECT WITH VALERIE:
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Transcript

Valerie Friedlander: 0:00

Hello, my friends and welcome to another episode of unlimited. Today we are talking about reclaiming creativity and healing through art. This episode is for you even if you don't identify as a creative, you don't have to have a label on yourself about your creativity. In order to be creative, we are all creative. Unfortunately, a lot of us have disconnected from that creativity from a very young age. Because when we don't feel safe to be our authentic self, we stifle that. And we end up focusing on queuing off of other people, we ended up emphasizing the attachment over the authenticity. And when we do that, we lose that creative access, because that is deeply rooted in our authentic self. So it can be extremely healing to step into your own creativity. And it might not look like drawing or painting or sewing or acting or singing. It could just look like how you do your hair, or what you put on your body. Or what you choose to do with your body in the morning, like moving your body. All of those things can be creative expressions of yourself. And it can be hard to tap into that on your own because a big reason for that stifling came from the lack of spaces where we felt a sense of belonging as our authentic self. This is one of the reasons why I invited Krishna Kayastha of Serenade My Soul to join me for this conversation. Not only is she doing amazing work as an artist, but she's also created a space for other people to be held in that creativity because we feel very sensitive around creativity, partly because societally we don't value taking space for things that aren't monetizable. But also because it's vulnerable. It means tapping into and sharing in some way, a part of ourselves our authentic selves. And frankly, there are a lot of spaces where we don't feel safe to do that. Krishna has a space that she created for herself and then has invited other people into the artists alcove. And I joined her for one of the sessions. And it was amazing. So she is a mixed media artist that captures the depths of the human experience with a focus in grief, growth and connection. Currently, she is building out a suite of journals to help support people in their mental health journey. She's passionate about making mental health support, accessible, and finding ways to do that in creativity. We'll be talking more about what she does in this episode. But some of the things that we talked about our lessons learned through motherhood, releasing perfectionism and embracing play, supporting your mental health through journaling, and the necessity of allowing yourself space. This was such a wonderful conversation, and I'd like to invite you into it as well. Do you have an experience with reclaiming creativity, stepping into a creative self that maybe you weren't in touch with or using your creativity or your art to support your own healing journey? I would love to hear about it. Please feel free to reach out to me via DM on Instagram or email or through my ask Val link, you can always send me a little message through that form that is listed in the show notes. Speaking of email, I am starting something new, which is when I have a guest on I'm doing a little video newsletter, where you will have access to a few more tips, insights from my guest related to our conversation. So if you would like to have access to that, make sure you've signed up for my newsletter again, the link is in the show notes. And now without further ado, let's get started. Hey there I'm Valerie Friedlander, Certified Life business alignment coach and this is unlimited. This podcast bridges the individual and the societal, scientific and spiritual positive and negative, nerdy and no, there's just a lot of nerdy. come on board and let's unlock a light. This is badass as you are Welcome, Krishna, I am so excited to have you on unlimited. So I'm excited to be here. Yay. So, starting off, I like to know, what is a limit that you took for granted that you have since unlearned.

Krishna Kayastha: 5:23

Two things can be true at the same time.

Valerie Friedlander: 5:27

Oh, so simple and yet so powerful.

Krishna Kayastha: 5:32

I feel like I may have learned and accepted that later than many of my peers. You know what I mean? I was just so steadfast and like, you have to have an opinion. And black and white is better than gray and just very, like traumatized response to things. To be quite honest. You know what I mean? But just kind of like, especially with parenting, and like motherhood? Yeah. Like, I think that was the biggest like, Can opener of like, yes, two things can definitely be true at the same time. This is terrible. And I love that.

Valerie Friedlander: 6:07

Yes, I feel that so much. And you know what I, as you say that that's something that I feel like, I've had kind of an awareness of, but it really wasn't until motherhood that it was like, really, that idea of duality really sunk in? And I was like, Oh, this is, this is what that means.

Krishna Kayastha: 6:30

Yeah. And I remember I used to get frustrated with my mom, because she knew like, no, like, like, no, just decide, like, have an opinion. You know, my poor mother. I think I apologize to her like every day.

Valerie Friedlander: 6:43

Yeah, I you know, I actually did reach out to my mom after becoming a mother myself. And I wanted her to know that I forgave her for all the times where she wasn't the mother that she wanted to be with me. Because I wasn't going to apologize for being a kid, right? But I wanted her to know what I know that I'm going to want to know what I'm gonna want to be able to do for myself, and hope that my kids can do for me.

Krishna Kayastha: 7:13

Yeah. That's really good, though. Mine always says like, Hey, Mom, remember when I was younger, and I did this, this and that. And then you got mad. I get it. Now. My bad. I'm sorry.

Valerie Friedlander: 7:25

Yeah, I do think that really hits in the teenage years. Like, there are things that I definitely feel like I can apologize for as a teenager.

Krishna Kayastha: 7:32

Yeah, exactly. It was like, remember when you used to, like want, like to clean the house before vacation, and we would all get annoyed. I get it now. Now I clean my house before I go on vacation. Because who wants to do that when they get back?

Valerie Friedlander: 7:44

Yeah. So I feel like that unlearning really ties into what you do now. At least it resonates to me of like the ability to think creatively, and to allow yourself room for creativity because creativity has such I don't even want to say duality, I want to say like expansiveness. And so often I hear people say, Well, I'm not creative. And I'm like, No. I mean, I think maybe the way you're thinking of creativity, maybe that's not for you. But like, maybe, maybe it's something else that because I feel like as human beings, we have a nature we have a destructive nature. Certainly. We also have a creative nature. Would you share a little bit about what you do with everyone?

Krishna Kayastha: 8:38

Yeah, no, I definitely appreciate that. And I just to kind of touch on the point i Everyone is innately graded, whether you like are aware of it or appreciate and like, love your creativity, that's a different story. But like the way you put your outfits together, the things you purchase for your home. That's all a version of creativity. So I'm a mixed media artist. And I focus on the depths of the human experience, but that focus on grief, growth and connection. And that's really important to me, because I've done a lot of grief, growth and connecting. And I feel like there's such heavy topics that we don't talk about enough, because everything needs to be like quick and fast. And these are not things that can be quick and fast. There's so much nuance and so much depth. And yeah, my art focuses on mainly that and then I'm in the middle of creating like these suite of journals to help support people in their mental health journey just because it's been so supportive and helpful for me. Like I went from eating once a day going to the gym and like napping all day and binging Netflix to being a mom of twins and now I'm doing this whole art business thing and designing journals and being a guest on podcast. What ends though Yeah, I just want to give people another option because therapy is not as successful as we would like it to be. Right. And I think therapy is like dating, you have to find a good fit. And that's so expensive. And it's so time consuming. And if you're just, if you're in survival mode, I think having a journal, and some prompts to start with can just like, give you give you a few steps and a bridge until you can get to a better place to get more support.

Valerie Friedlander: 10:29

Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Because it is, it is hard, I feel like to find someone who's a good fit you, you need to know yourself in a certain way. And that takes a process that that takes some exploration, which oftentimes we need support to go through. One of the things that you offer that really resonates for me along those lines is both the processing, but also, it's hard to do that in isolation, because I have had a history of like, the spinning thoughts and like I will, you know, I feel like say Doom scroll my own brain. Like, go through all the things, all the rumination, all of that sort of stuff. And so like, I have found it helpful to journal, you know, just to get that out of my head. And also you offer collective space to be creative. Yeah, I have learned how important that is being part of like group supports and things like that.

Krishna Kayastha: 11:35

Yeah, so I created the artist alcove out of like, my own need for creative community. I wanted to just like hang out with other creatives and essentially kind of craft together. Like, you know, I guess kids, you know, like cracking parties, like your friends would come over and you would like, make beaded bracelets, or necklaces, or

Valerie Friedlander: 11:54

yeah,

Krishna Kayastha: 11:55

draw or, you know, something because there wasn't, there was only TV for us to do way back when. And so I love my monthly like little gatherings because it's just 30 minutes to do something. No pressure, you know, you come hang out and we talk about everything. It's just whatever is top of mind, and you can share what you've worked on or not. And this is the place to get to disconnect. And I find even as an artist, I have a hard time getting pen to paper. Like sometimes they'll be like four or five days where I haven't painted. And then I'm like Krishna, like, this is your job, dude. Yeah, what the hang up and I have a real fear. Even even this past week, I was like, Man, I'm not good enough. Like, I have these visions in my head, like, they're not going to come out. It's not going to work out or it's going to be bad. And there's this weird desire to be good at it the first time. Yeah, right. Like, oh, I have this idea. And it's gonna be melee right off the bat like it just and if it's not, I'm not worthy. It's not worth it. I should quit that, you know, the whole thing. So the artists, all galleries are just great as I can be like, oh, yeah, I got this idea. I can just wrap it out. Like I did a portrait painting with watercolor markers. It is horrendous. No one will ever see it. But I did it. And I learned something from it. And I know like, Okay, the next time I do it, it will just get better and better. You know?

Valerie Friedlander: 13:28

Yes, well, the value in just having the space to do it, because that's something that I struggled to give myself is this space to do it, especially if it's, for me, especially if it's like, not going to be good. Or whatever, in my head is being labeled as good. Right. And I think there are a couple things that come to mind. And one of them is like, again, back to that duality, that that multifaceted nature of this idea that it has to be good or what makes someone creative, like you know, because people label themselves not creative, because they're not good at a particular art or arts in general or whatever. But like, like what is good, and why does it have to be good in order to have value?

Krishna Kayastha: 14:20

Yeah, like, I think that's another thing I'm also currently working through which is, things can just be fun. I don't have to turn it into a side business or a side hustle. It doesn't have to go on the gram. It can just be something I enjoy doing. Yeah, honestly, that's probably why I read so much fanfiction. But this does not add anything else to my life except enjoyment.

Valerie Friedlander: 14:52

And it's totally valuable just for that. Yeah, the first creative event that I attended If I brought my younger son who was home sick, and I invited, I told him, I was like, Hey, do you want to do a campaign with me? And he's like, yeah, and we're sitting there, and we're painting, and he started to get annoyed about his painting. He was like, yours is better than mine. Like the comparison stuff, like I'm not good at this. And started to go on about like it not being good. And, and that was really kind of like the conversation that came out of that, because I shared it. Because we were having this this conversation about like it, you know, the point of doing it, right, like one I've been doing things longer than he has. So of course, it makes sense that mine would be, quote, unquote, better as at work. But I asked him, I was like, well, but did you have fun doing it? And he said, Yes. Yeah. I was like, then good. Like, can that be good? And that make it good?

Krishna Kayastha: 16:05

Right. That's gold star worthy. It's, it's interesting how I feel like kids now kind of have that loss of like, play yard fun. Yeah. Right. Like, everything is competitive. If you're in a sports team, you are competing, there are games. There's a scoreboard, it's just like, you're not just going to go like hang out and play a game. Yeah. Have you ever seen sandlot?

Valerie Friedlander: 16:28

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 16:29

Like they would just go play? That was it?

Valerie Friedlander: 16:32

Yeah. And it's not organized by adults. Like nowadays, to get together. Everything is like curated and organized by adults. There's not that room for creative thinking and problem solving and solution finding.

Krishna Kayastha: 16:45

And we bring all of our adult garbage with us. Because so we we have like markers and papers right next to our dining table for the kids. I have twin girls, they're six. And while they're eating, if they want to draw, I'm like, that's cool. Whatever gets you to eat your food, do you? Right, it's not a tablet, I'm happy. So, and I had drawers every day. Like that girl puts pen to paper more than right, we just see her evolution, he she's just so into it. She's not like, Oh, this is like, she just keep going. If she messes up, she was gonna get another piece of paper and just start over. And it's like, no sweat off her back. You know, I'm just like, and I remember in the beginning, when she used to sit there, I'm like, Oh, why don't you try this or draw a circle or draw it. And I'm just like, I'm annoying myself, like, shut up, mom. And so she went from giant, I call them Chickies. Because that was the show she liked is just like a circle that a face. And then two arms off the side. That was it. And now they look like characters from that movie Trolls, goblins or whatever. They got full bodies, they got a different skin tone. She's like, this is a night. This is Daddy. And I'm like, okay, cool, like, and she's just developing her own style all on her own. And there seems to be a lot less inner turmoil and chaos happening than what I see one in myself and another creative adult.

Valerie Friedlander: 18:09

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 18:09

We're just like constant judgment.

Valerie Friedlander: 18:12

Yeah, you know, it's interesting. I have been wondering when that comes into play where that occurs. Because there's this assumption or something that somehow we utter internalize along the way. So my younger son has ADHD. And I don't know if it's a facet of that, and the way his brain works, but when he wants to do something, and he's really passionate about doing something, and he wants it to look a particular way, he's trying to figure it out. When he's at home, at least he doesn't do this at school, he told me because he knows he'll get in trouble. But he will scream the entire time. He will like literally sit there and holler his way through doing it. And I will go up to him like you can put it down. Like if it's upsetting. And once he gets through it, it's fine. But like this frustration that it's supposed to look a certain way, supposed to be a certain way. And we had this conversation about like, you know, when you were a kid, and you were learning to walk, you didn't scream about like, I can't stand up, you just kept doing it. But with this, it's like this huge amount of tension. I'm not really sure what it is other than like, he just needs to get the vibration of frustration out of his body. And that works for him. It's very hard on the rest of us. But it speaks to this change as we get older, and maybe some grief for adults in that child who didn't think that they could or wasn't allowed to or worthy of and I wonder what helps you when you do this work?

Krishna Kayastha: 19:56

I think it's complicated. I I think it's a mixture of school. And parents, at least for me, for sure. Like my, my parents who were the parents that did my project, especially my art projects, because they, they were crafty, like they're artsy. And they enjoyed it. I had like this 3d paper, Eiffel tower structure that my dad like, put together, and like, he did all the work, you know, and he's just like, he's think I had that in my room until I left for college. Middle, you know, so my parents were really crafty. And my mom was very competitive. Like, everything was a competition, which now as an adult, I realized it was her way to make really mundane things fun. So if we're cutting vegetables, like, oh, who can cut them the past this or like, oh, you know, like, it was all just kind of like her way of trying to make something fun.

Valerie Friedlander: 20:51

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 20:52

But in me, it was like, Okay, if it's not perfectly to start, like, I'm gonna get in trouble. It's not gonna be good enough, you know. And then in school, especially now, I feel like, it's gonna be very much unpopular opinion. There are so many core skills that are taught through craft of like cutting and gluing, on like, putting things together, which I get, it's fun, it builds motor skills and all of that. But then the act of like cutting and gluing, and like, creating something has become rigid. Yeah. It's not Oh, let me put the eye on the forehead. It's like, like, No, you need to put it in that spot to get the grade.

Valerie Friedlander: 21:33

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 21:34

To get checked off that. Okay. Yeah, you know, you know what you're supposed to be doing. So if I'm at school, and I'm cutting straight squares, and I'm lining them up, I'm gonna come home and most likely going to do the same thing.

Valerie Friedlander: 21:46

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 21:47

You know?

Valerie Friedlander: 21:48

Yeah, you get praised for the quote unquote, perfection and not for the process. And not for the creative thinking,

Krishna Kayastha: 22:00

Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander: 22:01

doing something outside the box.

Krishna Kayastha: 22:03

Yeah, there's crafts where like, you know, like, put the penguin together. So the teacher cuts everything out. And then the child just has the glue all the pieces in the right spot. And it's just like, what if you were to show them a picture and be like, Okay, go draw your own? And then it's just their own interpretation?

Valerie Friedlander: 22:17

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 22:18

That leaves more freedom to be innately creative. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think like some kids who aren't very creative, probably into taking an art class and middle school, and then boom, now you got grades.

Valerie Friedlander: 22:33

Yeah. Well, so that's an interesting question, though. So there is an idea of learn the techniques, and then apply them your way versus do your way first. So what is what are your thoughts on that?

Krishna Kayastha: 22:48

So, my experience was learn the technique, apply the technique. There was no do it your own way. And that was where I had the challenge, because you teach me a technique. And let me tell you Okay, yeah, this is the technique. But let me go do it how I want to do it, but that wasn't an option. It was are you proficient in this technique? Right.

Valerie Friedlander: 23:13

Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 23:13

And so then when you do put your own interpretation on something, and you get a C, like, Okay, well, this isn't for me. I'm gonna go take another class.

Valerie Friedlander: 23:23

Yeah. Isn't that the very nature of art too, though? Like, it's not for everybody. I mean, not not to say like art as a whole isn't for everybody. But like, certain forms of art, certain artistic expressions, like, not all artists are for all people, I guess, maybe that's the way to say it?

Krishna Kayastha: 23:42

No, 100% 100% Because, like, even like Van Gogh, were like obsessed with him now. No one cared when he was alive. It wasn't the vibe, right? And so even I have, like, I have the trouble with the title, like, Oh, I'm an artist, like it took a lot of a lot of mindset work to be like, Hey, I'm Chris. I'm an artist, because I'm, like, mighty like so is gonna be like, oh, here draw this. Like, I can't draw that. And we go, you're not an artist. Yeah. Like I have to be proficient and everything. And that's just not realistic. Nor does that bring joy. Right. So like, some people were really good with abstract. Some people love abstract work. Some people are like, What the hell is that? They threw paint at the canvas. Like, I don't want that. And then some people love the art that looks like pictures. And some people are like, Well, why do you want a painting of a picture? Just take a picture? Yeah, you know, so I think I think being an art teacher and being a teacher like in the current system is difficult because there are standards and data that they have to collect for the data gods that decide all the funding, you know, but it can really like put a kink in someone's path. I took an art class, freshman year of college, and I bought that teach There's so much I didn't take another art class. I gotten. I was like, I'm a Marketing major, but did what I needed, like, got out of there. And I'm done.

Valerie Friedlander: 25:08

Yeah. So what brought you around to art?

Krishna Kayastha: 25:11

I was engaged. We got engaged. We were living in New York, and I moved to California. And I was having a very hard time finding work, because California staffing agencies are nothing like New York staffing agencies. So that was an adjustment. And there was a meetup group that was going through the artists way, by Julia Cameron. And that just like, it opened up a whole new life for me. We as a group did that book. Six times over like two years. Wow. Yeah. So I took watercolor in classes, I took calligraphy classes, paper marbling. I did an oil painting class, just so many different things. And I was like, oh, there's something here. Yeah. But I'm also starting from like, the beginning self taught revives through and through because you know, that one class in college?

Valerie Friedlander: 26:04

Yeah. Well, when you said that your your parents were really crafty and creative.

Krishna Kayastha: 26:10

Yeah, my dad, my dad has an intense love for the arts. But he ended up being an engineer. And then he had a back injury, which put him into business. And then he's just been in like the business game. And then my mom was just kind of house life and supporting him and all of his adventures.

Valerie Friedlander: 26:27

Yeah, that's interesting. My dad is a chemical engineer. That's his schooling is in that but he's always been extremely artistic. And the big cosplay I did. over 20 years ago. Now, I brought brought one of the pieces to him that I needed. It was called a halo, basically. And I was like, everybody does cardboard and tin foil. I would like to have something better than that. Can you help me? And he was like, huh, yes. And he made me the coolest thing ever that the artist who drew the comic that I was emulating was like, I need one of those. That's amazing. So yeah. Yeah, I think artist and engineer there's, in that reminds me of how it's so interesting how people are like, Well, I'm this left brain, right brained person or whatever. So like, I don't do the other side of my brain. It's like, I don't think that's true.

Krishna Kayastha: 27:32

That's not how it works. You have all parts of your brain, and you have access to all of them. Yeah, that's whatever you build and focus on.

Valerie Friedlander: 27:39

Yeah. So I'm really curious that you focus on grief and growth, and connection. What does that mean to you in the context of art?

Krishna Kayastha: 27:54

So, pretty art sells. So well. And I'm actually I'm about to invest in like another art study class to kind of build up some skills. And they had like a free workshop on like, how to create art that sells. And so they were just like, oh, you know, paint things that allude to the life. Your audience wants to have. Paint things are like light and airy, and kind of like, you know, flux that Lux lifestyle is basically marketing, but on a canvas. I don't want to do that. We live in our heartache, day to day, you know, we live with our grief day to day. And I think seeing something that represents that has so much more value in terms of feeling seen. And then taking the first steps towards healing, you know? Yeah, yeah. I think when you're pushed rainbows and butterflies and unicorns all the time, it could just, it makes the wound worse. And I've always had like, some level of like, depression and anxiety, and my mom would always just be like, Oh, don't think about it. Like, they'll just like, don't think about it. Like, oh, you're thinking too much. And I'm like, lady, like, I love you. Like you can't stop right. also realizing that's how she copes. So that's fine. But I realized, like, I love to talk about it. Like, I'll get into these community spaces, and I'm just, I was getting my eyebrows waxed the other day, and I was telling him the esthetician about how I'm creating this journal for mothers and preteen daughters to better connect. So the teenage years aren't so chaotic. She's like, Oh, yeah, that's wonderful. And I was like, Are you close with your mom? And I'm like, Oh, my God, like, that's such a personal question. I'm so sorry. But like, I have no filter because I'm just like, I want to know how I wonder how people are doing on a soul level. I don't want to know how the weather is. And so when it comes to painting, I've done a

Valerie Friedlander: 29:53

Yeah. lot of like the pretty sap of like the groats I have a lot of florals and they Things like that, that kind of represent poutine. And, you know, coming out of spite, like the elements, also nature's like a huge factor and like supporting your growth, because, you know, living seasonally and taking time to rest and grieve, I think is huge. And then in terms of grief, and growth, real connection, I would say, I think a lot of us isolate when we are grieving, because we don't know how to process it. Because it's not something that's necessarily taught. And I also feel like, we are probably one of the most self aware generations with all the healing and like mental health work and inner child work that we have access to, and that we're learning about. And so when I was grieving, just, you know, had a hard pregnancy and you know, things were happening. A lot of my friends are just like, Oh, we don't know what to say. And so they would like remove themselves. And then I would further isolate myself. And so I want to, I want to paint things and give people dialogue on how to be there for one another. On those hard, hard days, because I feel like that's what it's for, yeah, getting together to celebrate and have fun, that easy. But if my friend's life is falling apart, like I want to know how to show up for them. And there's so much high level conversation of like, oh, like, you know, give them their time, give them their space? Like, if they need something they'll ask, I would never Yeah, if I'm grieving, I don't have the capacity to figure out how to ask anyone for anything. Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 31:46

And so just trying to give like voice and space are that

Valerie Friedlander: 31:51

It's that difference between giving space and holding space. Right, we don't really know how to hold space for each other, partly because we don't have any space for ourselves. And that's kind of what that comes up. For me, as you know, we were talking about at the beginning about like, allowing space for joy and for creativity that doesn't have any productive quality to it, just like because of it being what it is, and it being fun. And that's enough. Not being able to give that to ourselves then feeds into an inability to hold space for someone else.

Krishna Kayastha: 32:35

Yeah.

Valerie Friedlander: 32:35

Because what we do it ourselves we do to other people without meaning to, and we think that we're not, but we do, we can't help it because that's, that's how we relate. It all stems from our inner self.

Krishna Kayastha: 32:51

And there's also this this, like human nature, capacity, where it's like you do what you like, when it's familiar. And not necessarily what you know. And I say that as someone who's trying to gentle parent.

Valerie Friedlander: 33:07

Yes. Yeah.

Krishna Kayastha: 33:10

Right familiar is stern repercussions, like timeout like, I am authority, and not just like, I just want you to listen to my life is easier. Right? And so I'm, I'm yelling, I'm, you know, I'm just like, oh, like, I can't you just and what I know is well, yeah, they can't they're sick, dude, like, yeah, right. But the more I take time for myself, and I do the things that I need to do to take care of me, which is Create, Read My fanfiction for fun attend connection calls, then the more I can like, give them space when they come home from school of like, whatever it is that they're dealing with, because I have taken the space I needed, your children can't hold space for you.

Valerie Friedlander: 33:54

Yes.

Krishna Kayastha: 33:55

They're not supposed to. It's not their job, ideal world, right, XYZ. So having that expectation is just like, it's not going to serve anyone in your home. Whereas if you take the space for yourself, then you can hold space for them. And it also shows them a live example of how to do that for themselves. Because again, they will do what is familiar when they are older, until they have done the work.

Valerie Friedlander: 34:24

Yeah, you know, I just had that conversation with a client who was struggling with she's like, it's just so hard to make the space to do the things and I was like, well, you're trailblazing so of course, it's hard. Like we think, Oh, it shouldn't be this hard. What's wrong with me that it's this hard? And it's like nothing's wrong with you. You just didn't have an example of it. Like you're doing this from theory, not because somebody hacked the weeds out of the way. You know, you're the one you like you were told, okay, go that direction and it will help you. And you're like, Oh, it does. But why is it so hard if it's actually helping me well, because you also have to do the work of like, making the room for it. And that's one of the things I love so much about what you are offering both in the things you're creating, as well as the space that you're creating, I guess that's a creation too, right? That to be able to participate in that you have to allow other people to hold space for you. You have to be willing to show up and be in that kind of uncomfortable space of allowing others to hold you and it's like trust falling, right? Like, that's really uncomfortable. Like, are they gonna catch me? If you don't have experience of being caught. Of course, you're like, freaking out.

Krishna Kayastha: 35:46

Yeah, no, it's true. And it's funny, because we, in the beginning of the year, the calls were an hour long. And even I was having a bit of trouble, like stretching. I was like, an hour on Friday, like, I don't know, I'm trying to show or I'm trying to, like, get things done that I didn't get to in the week like this, you know, and so I changed the 30 Minute, and more people are attending more people are like, oh, yeah, you get this on my calendar. And I'm like, okay, like, even that little change was just a little too stretchy. And so making it accessible, right? So in regards to like, what your client said is like, Oh, it's so hard to find the time. My challenge with that right now is working out. Before I was the gym girly, I would go do a class, I'm home, you know, if I were to do that now, that would take two and a half hours out of my day. Like, there's no way I need my two and a half hours. So I do like a 10-20 minute YouTube video. And that's, like, the bare minimum. But it helps so much. It's like, it's like those long term savings accounts, you know, $10 a month, 10 minutes a day.

Valerie Friedlander: 36:54

Meet yourself where you're at? And yeah, don't should all over your capacity.

Krishna Kayastha: 36:59

Exactly. Like if you have other things that you're trying to deal with and do it right. It should be supportive.

Valerie Friedlander: 37:04

Yeah. So how can people work with you?

Krishna Kayastha: 37:10

That's a great question. So I, I have the monthly events for the artists Alico which are free and there's also weekly journal prompts that go out for free. And that's just how you can kind of get a taste of like healing and creating on your own in your own spaces. And then in terms of working with me, I do design journals, or we'll do like custom covers for people. And then I have my artwork, which I sell when print form, and then I do commission. Awesome. And in terms of like, making time and space for yourself, I have a habit blueprint, PDF that's free if you sign up for my newsletter. And so you can kind of use that and get a taste for what the journal is like. And it's just like a simple wheel to focus on three to five things every 10 days. And just kind of like, identify, is it? Is it just like an obstacle overall? Is it a time scheduling thing? Is it just not something that's reasonable with what's happening in life right now? And, you know, give you a little more grace?

Valerie Friedlander: 38:17

Yeah, that is so important. I appreciate that reminder. I always need that reminder. Even though I give it plenty, it's still you know, I think it's like that idea of breathing. You know, you say so somebody says, just take a breath, and you're like, oh, my gosh, I haven't have I've been breathing. So I I appreciate those reminders and and the space that you invite people into, to wrap us up, would you share a little bit about what it means to you to be unlimited?

Krishna Kayastha: 38:58

To be unlimited. What it means to me to be unlimited, is understanding that I can have it all. But it's just not all at the same time, which honestly, is for the better if my plate is full. You know, I think there was a time where, especially when the kids were little, just like oh my god, like, this is my life all day every day just feeding and cleaning and 15 and feeding and cleaning another in school and now there's so much more to it. And there are some things that won't happen for another five years and 10 years and that's fine. There's there's an excitement, like a beauty to that, right. Because if you get everything all at once, then what?

Valerie Friedlander: 39:42

Yeah, life is not meant to be consumed in one bite.

Krishna Kayastha: 39:48

Yeah, exactly. Not a social media trend.

Valerie Friedlander: 39:52

Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. And when you want to get that unlimited feeling, what do you Listen to?

Krishna Kayastha: 40:01

Oh, my gosh, have you heard Energy by Sampa the Great?

Valerie Friedlander: 40:06

It sounds familiar, but I'm not sure if I have,

Krishna Kayastha: 40:09

It's so good. I was listening to it before this call. Well, it'll be going on the Unlimited podcast playlist and for anybody who hasn't checked it out yet, it is so full of a variety of different feelings, but they all have that expansive quality. It's just it's very cool. Thanks to my guests like you. So thank you for your contribution to the playlist. And for everyone listening, if you're not on my email list, I am kicking off a new thing where I'm having guests share a couple little tips tricks for the email list. So if you're not on there, and you would like to hear a little bit more from Krishna, be sure to sign up. And of course, sign up for her email list. All the links for everything she shared about will be in the show notes. So definitely check that out. And thank you Krishna so much for joining me today. It has been a lovely conversation. It's so much fun. Thank you for having me.

Valerie Friedlander: 41:19

Thanks for listening. I so appreciate you being here. If you got something out of today's episode, please share it. Leave me a review. Take a screenshot and post it on social with a shout out to me, send it to a friend or you know all of the above. Want to hang out more join me on Instagram, or better yet, get on my mailing list to make sure you don't miss out on anything. And remember, your possibilities are as unlimited as you are. Allow yourself to shine my friend. The world needs your light. See you next time.