Identifying Your True Goals: Finding and Leading from Your Truth Center with Amy Pons

Identifying your true goals is the starting point to transforming your life from the inside out. In this powerful episode of Mindset Unlimited, I sit down with fellow Chicago-based life coach, Amy Pons, to unpack the powerful journey of breaking through learned limitations and discovering your authentic path. We explore how to lead from your truth center, navigate uncertainty, and create meaningful shifts in your life by embracing gratitude, curiosity, and self-discovery. If you're feeling stuck, yearning for authentic growth, or ready to unlearn societal conditioning, this conversation offers practical insights and inspiring perspectives on reclaiming your personal power and designing a life that truly resonates with your soul.

In this episode of Mindset Unlimited, I invited Amy Pons (she/her), a healer and life coach, to join me in a conversation about identifying your true goals so that you can find and lead your life from your truth center.

Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:

• The importance of the journey and what you accrue along the way matters as much or even more than the end goal
• Claiming your power begins by releasing control of what’s not yours
• Gratitude, embracing duality, curiosity and other ways to support a mindset shift
• When to get a coach and how to choose the right fit

LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:

The Human Array

Women Making Moves: Coaches on Coaching with Valerie Friedlander 

CONNECT WITH AMY:

Website

Amy on LinkedIn

CONNECT WITH VALERIE:

Website

Ask Valerie (anonymous form)

Sign up for Valerie’s newsletter

Apply to be coached on the podcast

Schedule an exploration call

This podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander Coaching

Proud member of the Feminist Podcasters Collective

Transcript

Valerie Friedlander: 0:00

Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Mindset unlimited. Today, we are talking about identifying your true goals, finding and leading from your truth Center. This is such an important topic right now as we navigate the world in spaces of upheaval and recognize that we need to create major shifts, which requires us to let go of our brain and our egos, attachment to what feels safe, what we've learned fictitiously, is secure for us and be able to step into unknown spaces on a solid footing, which is in connection to our truth and so that we can lead ourselves forward, and we can co lead with others forward into creating a more loving, a more caring, a more supportive way of being with each Other. I am thrilled to introduce you to Amy pons, who is joining me for this conversation. She is a fellow Chicago life coach and podcast host. Her podcast is women making moves, and I was thrilled to be able to be on it recently. We're talking about all things life coaching. If you have not checked that out, there is a link in the show notes, and I would love for you to listen and her other episodes, the other interviews that she has are just incredible. I am a huge fan of the podcast. That's part of how we connected, is I reached out to her around her interviews, and so she's just fabulous. She is a warrior and a healer who, through empathetic coaching, passion, spiritual guidance and a little bit of magic and a dash hint of spice, guides humanity to create the balance we've never seen in this lifetime. What used to feel okay, fine or even great, no longer does you're being called inward, and it can be jarring or even scary, and it's always worth it to live in a version of you that is your favorite. We talk about that. We talk about the importance of the journey and what you accrue along the way, and how that matters as much, if not even more than the end goal. How claiming your power begins by releasing control of what's not yours and identifying and claiming what is gratitude, embracing duality curiosity and other ways to support a mindset shift and also when to get a coach and how to choose the right fit. This is such a juicy conversation, and I know you're going to love it. So without further ado, let's get started. Welcome, Amy. I'm so excited to have you on Unlimited,

Amy Pons: 3:02

Glad to be here Unlimited. What's that even mean? In a good way.

Valerie Friedlander: 3:09

That's one of my questions at the end, actually, is, what does that mean to you? So we, we will definitely talk about that. But speaking of unlimited, one of the things that this podcast is really focused on is taking off our learned limitations. So I like to start off asking you about what is a limit that you took for granted, that you have since unlearned.

Amy Pons: 3:36

You know, I kind of joke like, of course, I know what unlimited means. I'm so in tune with spirit, nature, universe, us being at one with universe and source. There are no limitations. It's the to your point they lived human experience at which like that, which places any limits based on our lived experience. So I have like, a million limit. My whole life has been a big one, big limit, meaning in my family in particular, the lived experience was based on fear, scarce, scarcity, lack. It's like being beholden to only those things that which make you money or there wasn't a lot of other conversations. So the limitation, or the lived experience based on what my family only knew was doing life, so to speak, one way, which was going to mainstream church every Sunday, and it never really landed for me, necessarily? I was like, Okay, I don't really, I don't. Something didn't land right with me, that we were looking to, like one entity for basically transcription of a text, I don't know. So it just didn't land with me. But. That was all that I learned. And then you go to school, you you know, get a job, get a paycheck, pay taxes, and retire to Florida, was kind of like the vibe. So it was like, That's what I mean by one huge limit. And a lot of people will say, Oh, you're faulting your parents. The thing about that is duality is a huge thing for me, more than one thing to be true at once, meaning I understand that they only knew limitations. That's the only way that they knew how to do life. And so that was, of course, going to come through with with me as growing up. And for the first 40 years, I absolutely did that. Quote, unquote, did it. I did life great. And around 35 which I have this other philosophy with women, specifically, as we head into a perimenopause, literally, our brain chemistry is shifting so a lot of times, and what happened for me, what I experienced, is that I started to remember who I was on this whole plane around 35 and especially when I hit 40, it was like a catapult or like fast tracked. It was wild. And everything I knew, trusted, believed, etc, etc, etc. All came unraveled two years ago, and I was like, What is this? You know, high octane corporate executive was what I was doing, and I was completely unavailable to anything that I felt inside as a unique, organic on a Soul Plane, like who were, who I was here to be. And I did feel that to some extent of my day to day, because I didn't feel jazzed about creating a digital a global digital payment wallet for a Fortune 200 company that wasn't my jam, but I could. I could do it because I'm fiery Aries and I'm I'm gonna crush it no matter what. But what did start to feel good to me was what I now understand to be coaching. I became the women's employee resource group leader, and I started coaching hundreds of women, women. I was like, Oh, that's interesting. I'm like, but I can't make money as a coach. Like, what does that even mean? I gotta have a job. I gotta have a job. What is that? So what's coming through and explaining all of this is that I a limitation that I experienced around my relationship with both, let's say Money and abundance, like holistic abundance, was a limit that I both did not understand my entire life, and that's still kind of unfolding.

Valerie Friedlander: 8:11

Yeah, that makes sense. I think we're taught that we're just supposed to know. I mean, that's kind of what I'm hearing. And that like the idea that, okay, I did it. It's done, like, seeking all of those like, Oh, here's this rule book. Here's how you're supposed to be. And you just do those things, and then you get the prize at the end. And it's like, there isn't a done point. So one of the unlearnings that I have had is actually being okay with being in process and not having a done point. And what does that look like to not be done? I mean, like I think about the various chores. There was a cartoon years ago. My dad had it taped to one of our cabinets, and I can't remember which it might have been like, for better or for worse, or something like that, where the dad was doing the dishes, and he left like a couple dishes at the side of the sink, and they turn the lights off, and he turned them back on, and then there was a huge pile of dishes, and he goes, I knew it. They multiply in the dark, and I feel that way with dishes, with laundry, with with all of those things. And we think of those kind of ongoing things as those are the chores, those things we have to get through. Those are the things that are weights. Those are the things that are like, gosh, if I were living in a perfect life, I wouldn't have to deal with them when I get to this point. Then,

Amy Pons: 9:55

Is that true?

Valerie Friedlander: 9:56

Right? Well, exactly, is that true?

Amy Pons: 9:59

I mean, supposedly, I guess, yeah, it's like feeling beholden to like, Okay, once I get there. But what is there? And, okay, sure, one could say that if you made a certain amount of money, you could hire somebody to do everything in your life for you. And what is that living look like? Are you living? Yeah, because for me, like the shift and the unlearning, for me is you mentioned chores, it's like I get to do these things. Because, wow, I have a home. I have clean water. And this might seem trite to some folks, or like toxic positivity, you would be shocked how much gratitude plays a role in what's enough, what is what your actual goal might be. Is your goal to be a millionaire? When you unpack that, it seems like so many goals today. I'm an elder millennial, so many goals growing up through my time was all about getting as much money as you could get. I'm like, oh,

Valerie Friedlander: 11:21

there was never enough,

Amy Pons: 11:22

And there was never... and there will never, will be. And what, how do you actually want to feel when you do become a millionaire? You don't feel happy, cool, also getting to that point, I don't think a lot of people think about what you accrue along the way, whether it be mind, body, spiritual, getting to that point of being a millionaire, and you might have a whole new set of onslaught things that you're like, Oh, I didn't want that.

Valerie Friedlander: 11:53

Well, yeah, if you're singly focused, and one thing is the thing that, once I get that, then I'll be then you're missing out on a holistic view of life and all the other pieces that go along with that. Like, I'm not interested in making a ton of money by exploiting people, yeah, because what does my soul accrue when I do that exactly.

Amy Pons: 12:22

That's a great point. Part of my role throughout my corporate life was in marketing, was getting people to spend more money on their credit card. How icky that feels. And like, that's when I started to feel like, well, this is I don't know that this was what I came here to do Earth. This is what I don't know. This is what I came here to do. And so I was making great money by getting people to make, or, you know, to spend more money. And I think there's nothing wrong with setting any goal in your life. Awesome. The question is, what is the intention in which you're setting that goal and and in duality, especially if we talk from a soul perspective, nothing's innately good or bad, but it's again, the intention behind it is way. Is the way we feel satisfied or dissatisfied on the other side of the thing that we did. That's where I always start with all my clients. It's like, I purposely ask. I'm like, What are your goals? And it'll be like, Do this, do that, do this, do that. I'm like, Cool, cool. How do you want to feel on the other side of this? And they're like, I don't know, like, accomplished, cool, why? And like, you know, you know, as a coach like that, will head into a really interesting conversation. Not everything excavating things that they didn't even realize.

Valerie Friedlander: 13:54

Yeah, those underlying things that motivate us, that are beyond our conscious level, that then often there shoulds sometimes they're like real nuggets in there, right? But some, a lot of times it's it shoulds based on stories that we were taught of what doing something or having something would mean about us, about who we are, about what we can have, who we can be and all of that. And you mentioned the idea of toxic positivity, I like to highlight there, because I think sometimes it gets confusing of what is actually being positive and what is being toxic. And it, I think of it like math, right? Like, toxic positivity is when you pretend you don't have what you have, right, right? And so to be able to, like, if you, if you feel a burden from something, well, what about that like, that's where you do that reflection, like you were talking about of like, well, what about that like? What would. You feel like if you didn't have that, and also the not imposing it on other people like you should anytime the shoulds involved, like you should be grateful. Okay, now we have a problem, because now you're glossing over the the feelings that are actually present and that can be done to oneself, like, oh, I should be grateful for all these things. Okay? But if you're not, what's stopping you from feeling grateful? What's in the way of that? Because just telling yourself to feel a way you don't feel isn't gonna that is that toxic positivity we're pretending we're gonna but, but gratitude is so powerful, and it is so helpful to get to actually also get in touch with reality, like anything that pulls us away from what is true for us, humanly, as well as that, what's what's possible. I used to get overwhelmed by my mom would say, like, well, the realm of all possibilities. I'm like, That is too big. Which is why I'll talk about like this idea of the learned limitations versus the chosen limitations, the choices that we make that that create a container for ourselves and knowing okay, what? What is it that I actually want? How do I want to feel in my life? And how do I move with that in mind? And that's something that comes up around this. You know, the this transition from one year to another in our calendar system, where we think about the idea of goal setting and resolutions. And people who listen to this podcast know that I'm not into that like, and talk about, like, maybe intention setting and that sort of thing. But even like, anything that that we're so conditioned to focus on the future all the time. But I think people get confused about, like, how do I plan into the future but stay present? And especially in a time like this, where we're in such a massive shift with so much uncertainty, people are still carrying the weight of like, within the intensity of COVID, or the initial intensity of that, like, Oh, two weeks, wait two weeks. Wait two weeks. And that did something where, like, I'll say, of course, you were struggling with any kind of planning, because there's a trauma in that of, like, you can't see forward. But within change, there's a there's a period of like, I don't know how to plan because I don't know what's going to happen. And of course, we also know we only have power over ourselves. I'd love to hear your thoughts on like, that idea, because as I'm talking, I'm seeing this intersection of like, when you know that you can't control anything outside of you. Things are going to impact you, but the only person, the only thing that you truly have power over, is how you show up and what you do. The intersection with being present and planning ahead.

Amy Pons: 18:14

I think it comes back to when you feel yourself forcing and overriding in any possible degree. Meaning, I have no idea what the future looks like, but I'm going to plan something you know, like with gusto, and you become beholden to that idea of of you've got to take a moment to consider, do you got to and Where's that coming from? That's such an invitation, and it's really effing uncomfortable because, and like COVID was the best example for especially those who only felt good when they were in full control of every moment of life. So you saw so much mental health deterioration, because there was so much lack of control. So it's finding, for me, it's finding a balance between feel your feels like if you are overriding like if you're if you genuinely and here's the difference, dropping into your body, feeling into if you, if you vibe with chakras, energy, energy centers, literally feel into your physical body of what there might be kind of a pinch. And you know it. You know when your body maybe you don't. This is the invitation feel your body, ask your brain to take five feel into your body what is actually true and what I also I'll share on that, in terms of planning for the future, versus staying present or not, versus in contrast or with it gets to be both, so dropping into your body and saying {breath]. Yeah, I don't have capacity at all to set a goal today, amazing. Feel that, allow it to feel, ask your brain then, which is likely the one that's like, set this goal now, ask your brain to come, like, show your brain where in your physical body that you don't have capacity today, and see if the two can meet, because a lot of times we'll come up with this internal bath between different energy centers, no matter what you subscribe to. For me, it's chakras, it's it's like, how do I feel? Can I allow that to be felt and then set the intention in the future? I want to feel calm and peace, and I want to feel ready to be able to set goals cool that will tell my brain, oh, okay, so she's not overriding me. We get to get there. But for now, I'm going to hang back with the rest of the energy centers and hang out because we don't have capacity. It's allowing your brain to work with you, rather than like a push pull, because that's a constant battle, and depending on where you feel it, there could be within your energy centers working against each other inadvertently. And it's not your fault. It's a lot of the conditioning training that we've brought up with, a lot is going to happen with our root chakra, which is our safety, stability and security. So if you don't, quote, unquote, do the thing that might head toward something that keeps you safe where it's going to have some things to say, feel into it. It all gets to be both. It's not ignoring any part of you. It's like, I want to plan for the future, and I don't have capacity today. The other thing I'll say about that too is a lot of times when we get into planning for the future, we will attach ourselves and become beholden to the how, the what or the when. Ooh, and my clients hate it when I say this, but I'll say, I'll say, how do you want to feel? And they'll say, Okay, I want to feel abundant. Great. Now, the how, what and when is none of your business. And they're like, What? Yeah, it's none of your business. But you've set the intention that you want to feel abundant amazing. That's almost like reaching up into the sky with a lighthouse so that the universe, or whomever you subscribe to, God, Source Creator universe, can see your light and send you the energetic matches that will co create with you to get to that abundance. Yeah. So not forcing. Don't override anything that's trying to come in. Allow everyone to be in the thought pool or the field pool, and detach from the outcomes and all of the sounds like, gobby, go to those who are like, how the possible F do I do that? You get a coach. That's what we're here for.

Valerie Friedlander: 23:25

Yeah, absolutely, because we're not meant to do this alone. That's one of the things that I say is like your inner work, the only you're the only person who can do that work, and you're not meant to do it alone. So we're not just like as you're talking, I was thinking about how much we have over emphasized our intellect, placing so like the brain, right? The cognitive ability we have, over emphasized our cognitive ability as the primary, and we have learned to bypass our heart intelligence, our gut intelligence, which also have neurological centers, right? So if you want to get biological about it, there are nerve centers clusters where those are essentially other brains, but we don't listen to them, because our systems can't function if we spend the time to listen. But hey, guess what? Our systems aren't functioning. We are about to see that in a really big way. So now is a great time to slow down and pay attention to you.

Amy Pons: 24:40

Your bodies will set you down if you don't proactively. And we here's here's something I want to share. And I'm not a doctor, a medical SME on any level, and I also am an energy coach, that energy will be stored whether we. Want it to or not, until the point where it has nowhere else to go and it will sit us down where we have, we don't have a choice. So that's where the I always everyone's like, Why do I have to do the work? Yeah, you don't have to do anything. Free will, autonomy, and you could get to a point where your body makes the choice for you. And that's where I feel that we come in, where we're like, what if you want to explore it by any degree, that's where to your point. The ego and the brain are always going to keep us in quote, unquote, safe and familiar territory. Well, of course, the work of the unknown brain is going to be like, No, nope. And if you gave yourself a minute to be like, Whoa, I haven't pooped in a week. Cool, that's your invitation. Something doesn't feel good, or is something of your body like, do you have? Do you have a it's gonna someone's ringing your doorbell, someone meaning your own body, your guides, universe, God's creator, someone's inviting you to explore or or to excavate, and you get the choice to ignore that until you can't.

Valerie Friedlander: 26:11

Yeah,

Amy Pons: 26:12

In my experience,

Valerie Friedlander: 26:13

Yeah, and mine as well, also, because I've seen it with so many clients who come to me after they're starting to feel the breakdown, or have been hospitalized for a breakdown, or are dealing with some sort of chronic illness because they didn't listen to or because of early childhood trauma, which is also a facet too. So it's not all like you can sit down and do the work, but to recognize that there's more care that's needed, and to create spaces of that. Because just because our society doesn't naturally provide it doesn't mean you don't deserve it.

Amy Pons: 26:54

Oh, you so deserve it. I found that to be like, one of the earliest things that I'll work with with people is, do you trust yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you think you're worthy? Are you valuable, and do you deserve it? Like those are the kinds of conversations we even start with. And it's amazing how many people don't even know that they can't, full body say, like, yes to some or all of those, and it's like, oh, okay, those are the invitations our birthright is to exist on this plane, like, literally, which is it an automatic deserving of? Feeling into the favorite version of yourself. A lot of people say best or highest. That suggests there's like one, or like better, or I'm like your favorite. When you give yourself butterflies, ooh!

Valerie Friedlander: 28:01

Yeah, I like that. I I've also struggled with those terminologies, because so much of our words which are symbols that are rooted in our social understandings. And so words can be really clunky and and so what we have access to utilizing can activate certain parts of ourselves that aren't even when we're trying to say something else, like, you know, your best self, or your higher self, or whatever it's like, there we it's almost like we missed something. I This has been coming up a lot, the idea, well, Audrey Lords quote about the Masters tools. Can't dismantle the master's house. And in some ways, our words are like that.

Amy Pons: 28:56

I host a workshop through this organization. I'm with the Human Array, which is called words or spells, and it's like thoughts and words or spells. And exactly what I mean by that is like, before we even know it, there's like a thought that's run through our head. Because here's here's, what I feel is we all have a truth center within us, in our in our internal or energetic field, and that truth center. At the same time that that's true, our bodies almost act like a shock absorber to our words and our thoughts, so your body could take on something that's not true, but your truth center is not necessarily accessible to your body in that moment, because your thoughts and words are so powerful, so your body takes on imagine just over myself an example. Over 40 years, my body was a shock absorber. For so much that did not align with my truth center, but my body was I'm the impression that that was all truth. So through my own physical illnesses and chronic things over the past two years, hospitalizations, I went through a massive purging, like my physical body did, getting back to that truth center. So that all sounds really heavy, and I don't mean to ever like, never scare anyone again. It's just like, take the tiniest degree of what you and I are saying and saying, like, Okay, what's the tiniest degree that lands with me that I could kind of excavate and explore, and it could be like, how's my heart today? How does my stomach feel? Does my head hurt? Because when something and this goes back to what we were talking about, about setting expectations, we're not saying that you can't set goals. Goals are great, but when you set yourself up for either expectations or attaching to any sort of outcome, which is in the how, what or when, and it doesn't happen. Before you know it, you have a thought which is like, which could be around, I'm not good enough. Ooh, before you know it, your body took that as as fact, and oh shoot, now we're at odds with our truth center, because is it true that I'm not good enough? No, that's not true. So then there's work to do.

Valerie Friedlander: 31:30

Yeah, well, and the tricky part is that then our brain creates a story that we're that's rooted in what we're familiar with about why our body is responding the way it's responding, and we think that's what's true, instead of actually digging further to understand what is, what's happening within ourselves and our truth center and and that is that's so often that that deeper part of actually looking at will almost like, like what you were saying of what is The what is the thought? People talk about, the thought, feeling, action, sort of model, right? The cognitive behavioral analysis design, right? But what I have found is that it isn't really it's like the thought that we don't know the feeling and then the thought that we have from the feeling, or the belief that that activates, and then the more feeling, and then the action that creates patterns in our life. So when we can go further than that, of like, what is my body feeling? And I love the modeling that you're doing right now, I don't even know that you you probably just this is part of how you do this, but the pausing, the pausing even within the phrase How you're really taking that moment to access what you're seeking to convey. And I have heard so many stories come through, as I've done work with clients, around pausing, of this resistance, of pausing because we oh, it looks like I'm slow, it looks like I'm this, that, or the other thing, like these stories, and I have a kid who whose brain is slower, and I actually, through that work of like, understanding slow processing, I'm like, Oh, I'm a slow processor. But if we bypass taking that space, that's where we're going to grab the tool that's most available, and it's going to be the one that we were conditioned to use, because that is naturally going to be the it's like you put your hand out looking for something, and society will just hear, this is the tool you're looking for, and so You will use it. It's the one that feels the the most familiar in your arm. And so taking that pause, you receive that tool, and go, No, that's not, that's not the tool I'm looking for. Let me find it.

Amy Pons: 34:15

You put it down.

Valerie Friedlander: 34:16

You put it down!

Amy Pons: 34:18

Not yours.

Valerie Friedlander: 34:20

Yeah, well, I think it's really important. Yeah,

Amy Pons: 34:20

And that's a really beautiful acknowledgement. And the good news is, the more you get in touch with your truth I'm glad that you brought that forward, because that is center, and I'll give you an example. I'll give everybody a really easy, tangible example of your truth center coming through when there has something there, when there's been something that's unfolded in your physical life, people, places and things, and later on, you might feel bad about it. Something feels icky. It's likely that something within that interaction did not align with your truth center. That's why you're feeling some people might call it guilt or. I'm just feeling something doesn't land, something doesn't sit right. That's the invitation that is an example of what you just said, where you've used or leveraged something from your lived experience that does not align with your truth center. That's where you start to unfold what is and is not your truth center. And what's beautiful is when you start to discern, and you said this earlier too, like it's either a feeling, thought or a thought feeling, to understand which one is the root, when you start to figure out which is the discernment and which is actually your truth and which one is your conditioning. It's still important not to judge that conditioning, because that's beautifully part of you as well. It's saying, Hey, welcome. And when you're allowed, when you allow yourself to step outside of the copy paste, like if I sit here in process for a minute, somebody's gonna judge me. Cool. That's not mine. That's theirs. When you give yourself that moment to discern that pause, then you're like, Okay, I honor that. This is the way that I have been conditioned, and I would love to explore what would be a response from my truth center. Then again, like I picture head and heart, but like also I have sacral authority. So I picture my sacral energy and my brain like walking together, the more you can have that discernment and help them both to feel seen and heard. Hmm. That's where, that's, like the on any degree, that's if someone needs a how, that's a step toward the how, at least in my practice, something that I often see, is that people that I work with have done enough personal development through our traditional modes of development that they know how to beat themselves up with it. Oh, right, right. And that's what that's what happens. Oh, I, I shouldn't be shoulding on myself. Ah! Like, no, let's let the should in.

Valerie Friedlander: 37:25

Yeah, just give it some room. Let it be heard in its fullness, so that you can care for that part of yourself that needed that, that felt like it needed that.

Amy Pons: 37:39

Yeah,

Valerie Friedlander: 37:40

And, you know, I had someone important in my life say to me at one point that they wished that they could have been the person in that role, that they thought that I wanted them to be. And I was like, Whoa, that's a that is a loaded thing. And I understood the like, the message behind it, of like, there was a certain amount of regret that they weren't able to show up the way that they wanted to show up. But that was, there's a lot of like, I think that you think that should have this and that and that and the other thing. And it was like, Okay, well, I can hold space for the feeling of that and also recognize that it was, it wasn't perfect, whatever that means. It wasn't what if I, if I as that person that that I was a long time ago, had been able to say, this is what I want for somebody in my life, in that role, to be like I probably would have you said a number of things that that person was not, and all of those human pieces, all of those things that weren't what I would have said I wanted. Are part of how we are able to connect the way we are now, and part of who I am now and why I can show up with people the way I can now. It's all part of my story and my journey and my work, it's given me an awareness and access and a journey that allows me to to be who I am now, and so I can hold space for all of that and all of them. That doesn't mean that, you know, were they still to be the same person that they were at that time. I wouldn't set boundaries differently as an adult person. And so yes, both and in that.

Amy Pons: 39:52

Both and always, you get to feel, and this is what a lot of people in my. Experience like struggle with is that on the Soul Plane again, there's no good, bad, right, wrong, everything just is. And so, for instance, as an intuitive I have glimmers peaks behind the curtain of things that might be transpiring. Just because I know and feel what's unfolding doesn't mean sometimes that doesn't hurt in my human experience. So so I think there's an assumption it's like, if you're an intuitive or in tune with spirit and coach like you know why everything's happening. You understand the why it doesn't make it any any easier, sometimes, on a human experience level, some days I just allow myself, Oh my gosh. I just had one Saturday. I allowed myself to be so mad all day long. Did it serve me? Maybe, maybe not, but I allowed it in, because I'm like, okay, but I've had this energy for probably, like two weeks now it's like, what I'm going through an upgrade, like my I get to experience an upgrade. So I I feel it. I get all ragey, and I'm like, okay, all right, a lot so much of it is just allowing and never forcing. And some people are like, Well, I gotta go to I just gotta go to work. When there's things as humans, as responsible adults, that we gotta just do again. It's finding on any degree that you allow yourself to feel at all, maybe get your favorite drink on the way into work, or whatever it is, find a way to find space and softness for that, whatever's coming in, yeah, and to your point, by pass it,

Valerie Friedlander: 42:10

Yeah.

Amy Pons: 42:11

Turn it all the way up if you can.

Valerie Friedlander: 42:14

Absolutely, really feeling Your feelings, because there's so much information in there and and it can be information that you need to do something different, that you're missing out of alignment with your truth, and it doesn't necessarily mean do something right now. Like, sometimes I don't know, oh, what it is, right? Like, sometimes I can just know that it's not something is not fitting, something feels off, and I don't get to know what it is yet, or I do, but I don't have the choices available to me yet. And so what is the choice that I can make that honors that space that moves me in a direction toward the choices that I'm seeking to make that was a big aha for me of like, oh, maybe it's not all about like, the choices. Maybe they're not choices I can make right now because of my human experience, because of what's happening in my life and the constraints that I have and the other choices that I've made, but when I can recognize that it's something that I'm called to, something that I desire, then I can make the next choice towards that in that direction, honoring whatever it is that's calling me in that direction, even if it's not the thing that I would choose right now, because of other things that are important to me even,

Amy Pons: 43:49

And that's why having a coach is so cool, is to be able to mirror back, of course, like what you're walking through. And we are trained to extract those nuggets, even if you don't realize it's a nuggets, like, here's what I'm hearing. It's so cool to have that kind of mirror. And coaching as a profession is, is just, has just been exquisitely interesting to me, because when I left corporate in the corporate world, coaching existed on if you're not familiar, you got a company sponsored coach once you got to a certain level within the organization, otherwise you don't get that. And so that's all that. It occurred to me that it was only about I actually didn't even know what they were coached about. It was like, what are they getting coaching on? I know doesn't make sense to me, and then I get it now, and I don't know if those executives because they were in their own path, the folks that are coaches and that are the ones helping you step through that next best. Just feeling and action. For me, I call it like a soul aligned action, or a truth centered action. That's the really cool stuff that I feel the collective is is feeling so strongly right now, and they're like, how the hell do I actually start? Start following people that something about content that lands with you. Start following them, set up time with them, build a rapport. The number one success criteria with a coach is making sure you have that two way rapport.

Valerie Friedlander: 45:35

Yeah, that is absolutely I very much encourage. And I think sometimes people resist reaching out if they don't know, and I think that's the perfect time to reach out, because if you're talking to somebody who is really doing that work, their goal and the focus of that conversation is going to be on helping you assess if they're the person to help you do whatever it is, or be wherever you are, whatever that looks like, whatever reason you're reaching out and you don't have to, you actually don't have to have the right questions, like, you don't have to be like, Okay, I'm interviewing you. It doesn't have to. We can just be like, I just wanted to talk, and that's actually okay, but I just felt like I needed to get on a call with you. Amazing. Don't worry about wasting anybody's time, and we have a calendar for a reason. Not wasting our time, that's part of our work.

Amy Pons: 46:39

I actually encourage, I'm like, if you feel like you're like, something's bad, I give or something's off, and I have no idea what it is, cool, that's the best time to start chatting. And yeah, and be mindful of those that are one wanting to expedite or have the process be fast, folks that may not be the best fit. So trust yourself. This goes back to what's your gut feeling. So

Valerie Friedlander: 47:10

Yeah, absolutely, that's so, so true. So thank you for this conversation. This has been a lot of fun. I like to wrap up as we started, we talked about, like, what is, what does it mean to be unlimited? And one of the reasons I put this at the end is because sometimes what we talk about, because I don't script our conversations, and it's, you know, I don't have set questions. It really is more of a conversation than an interview. Sometimes the energy in the conversation helps unlock like, what are the what are the words that are vibrating with that energy? So to that, what does it mean to you to be unlimited,

Amy Pons: 48:00

To have unwavering faith and allowment for my runway of life to be extended all the time, to have A regulated central nervous system, the trust and the problem. Process to be okay with the unknown, to set intentions, and knowing when I set the intentions toward my energetic matches. I shine my light so that others can find me and the universe can give me, kind of like a high five energetic match to send it back to me.

Valerie Friedlander: 48:57

Awesome. And when you want to tap into that unlimited feeling, what song do you listen to?

Amy Pons: 49:10

This is me, Keala Settle from The Greatest Showman.

Valerie Friedlander: 49:16

Awesome. Well, that'll be on my Unlimited playlist. Thank you so much Amy for joining me today. I appreciate it.

Amy Pons: 49:27

Thanks for having me.

Valerie Friedlander: 49:28

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode. It is always a pleasure and an honor to have you join me, and I invite you to be part of the conversation. Leave a note under the episode, leave a comment on the blog post for this episode on my website, send me a text, send me an email. I really, truly love to hear from you. So whatever way feels most accessible for you, let me know what came up for you in listening to this episode. Is there a nugget that you took away from. It, or did it bring questions forward that you would like to have answered in a future episode? I want to hear from you. So please don't hesitate to reach out. And of course, if you are looking for coaching, support, my information and a link to schedule a free exploration session is in the show notes as long with Amy's. So please reach out. We are not meant to do any of this alone. I'm here for you. I'm sending you so much love, and I will talk to you all next time.