Reclaiming Your Attention to Focus on What Matters

Reclaiming Your Attention is essentially reclaiming your power. Many of us feel overwhelmed by all the things that need attention and this is by design. By examining how media and technology shape our attention, and by practicing strategies to ground ourselves in mindfulness and intentional focus, we can shift from being scattered and depleted to feeling aligned and resourced. From that place, we’re better prepared to take meaningful action in our lives.

In this episode of Mindset Unlimited, I share some insights and tips for reclaiming your attention to focus on what matters, even when you’re overwhelmed.

Some of what I explore in this episode includes:

• Understanding Attention and who’s driving it
• Parenting in an age of social media
• Shifting out of performance and into connection
• What to do to support aligned empowerment

Thoughts or questions?

Send me a voice memo: https://www.speakpipe.com/MindsetUnlimited

LINKS TO REFERENCES MADE IN THIS EPISODE:

5 Steps to Shift Habits of Perfectionism & People Pleasing with Beatriz Victoria Albina

Responsive Practices to Create a Supportive Relationship with Your Teen with Donna Lynne Booher

Empathy Isn’t the Problem

Cult of Personality – Living Colour

The Social Dilemma – Netflix Documentary 

Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention – And How to Think Deeply Again – by Johann Hari

Frederic Joseph – The Death of Social in Social Media 

Britannica - Attention

NPR - Nihilistic Online Networks Groom Minors to Commit Harm

This Will Hold - Groyper and Steve Bannon’s Online Machine to Radicalize Boys

Therapy Jeff – Parents of White Boys, Don’t Want Your Kid Radicalized Online? Do These 5 Things

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This podcast was produced by Valerie Friedlander Coaching

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Transcript

Valerie Friedlander: 0:00

Hello, my friends, and welcome to another episode of Mindset Unlimited, mindset tips, tools and inspiration for women in a time of change. I'm your host. Valerie Friedlander, ICF certified coach, sociologist, intersectional feminist artist, mom and nerd, and today we are talking about reclaiming your attention to focus on what matters. And you may be like val i don't even know what matters anymore or what matters most, what order to put what matters into, because I'm so overwhelmed. And if that sounds familiar, then I want you to know you're not alone. I feel you. I am right there with you, and that's why I wanted to do this episode, is I actually did a whole nother episode on a similar topic of attention, but I got kind of lost in the weeds, and I realized as I sat with it, luckily I had this space that I was sitting with it, and realized, Oh, that wasn't that's not what's needed right now. What's needed is, what do we do with this information? And so I have a lot of details in the show notes like this, the science, the writings that all the things that you can read for yourself if you want, is linked there, and I'm going to show up with what I have to say about these things, and I know that's why you're here, and I'm realizing that part of what I've been doing is covering some of my own overwhelm with just data and my own vulnerability. And that is kind of counter to what I'm here to create. So we're just gonna dig in with with what I have to say about these things. And I love to hear from you. So if you have thoughts you would like to share about this, if you have questions, if you have comments, concerns, topics that you want me to explore. Otherwise, I love to hear from you. I have created a new little button where you can record a little voice memo. You can do it anonymously, or you can put your info. If you put your info, I can respond back to you, which I'm I do anytime anybody sends me anything that I can respond to. So whether it's my newsletter or for the podcast, I love to hear from you, and I will respond to every single comment. So please don't hesitate to reach out. Now what we're going to talk about, just as a little covering little, little outline, we're going to talk about understanding attention and who's driving it, parenting in the age of social media shifting out of performance and into connection and what to do to support aligned empowerment. So that's kind of the little outline. Now without further ado, let's get started. A lot of different things kind of converged in my life to have me thinking about attention, and this has been a topic for a little while now in just the world, especially, I think the first time I heard the term attention capitalism was in the Netflix documentary The social dilemma, where it's talking about the dynamics of social media and what it was actually doing, and how it was shifting into this consumption of our Attention, or really where we are the product, right? So where we are the ones being consumed because, or our attention is being consumed because of how marketing is working on these social media platforms and so that has been kind of in the background, in the awareness and watching what has been happening over the past few weeks here in the US. In particular, the song cult of personality by living color, from way back when I was younger, has been coming to mind, and I'm just going to read some of the lyrics to you. You may or may not be familiar with it. I am going to link it in the show notes if you want to go listen to it. But the lyrics go look in my eyes. What do you see? The cult of personality. I know your anger. I know your dreams. I've been everything you want to be. Oh, I'm the cult of personality like Mussolini and Kennedy, I'm the cult of personality, neon lights, Nobel Prize. When a mirror speaks, the reflection lies. You won't have to follow me. Only you can set me free. I sell the things you need to be I'm the smiling face on your TV. Oh, I'm the cult of personality. I exploit you. Still you love. Me, I tell you one and one makes three. Oh, I'm the cult of personality, like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi. Oh, I'm the cult of personality, neon lights, Nobel Prize. When a leader speaks, that leader dies, you won't have to follow me. Only you can set you free. You gave me fortune, you gave me fame, you gave me power in your God's name, I'm every person you need to be. Oh, I'm the cult of personality. That may sound familiar and it's gotten bigger. It's so much more powerful. I reflect back on a book that I read a while ago. I've referenced it in this podcast before, and it's called stolen focus by Johann Hari, and in it, he talks about how the speed of information has had an impact on our focus. He talks about a lot of other things too, and that stood out to me of even starting with the printing press information, or access to information, speeding up and speeding up, and then going into like the 24 hour news cycle, and at that point, this is when we start to need more information, more interest, right? Because it's 24 hours. So we need as much news as possible, and we need to hold people's attention so that we have people who want to advertise during all these different time slots. So the longer we can hold your attention, the more money we can make. And this is where we start to I mean, it was probably even before this, but we start to really see that emphasis on how do we keep people's attention, and the increase in more and more sensationalizing news and information because it holds people's attention. Enter social media, and now there's more opportunity to make money off of people's attention, and this is literally how social media makes money, is by holding your attention, your eyeballs. I mean, all the different facets of the internet. It's who can grab attention, hold attention so that we can sell ads. Essentially, we have become the commodity. It started with capitalism way back when, like early capitalism, was more related to, like the wealthy luxury goods and such, and then it has moved into the basic needs. That's when the kind of capitalism we're familiar with right now came into play, was we are going to make money off of basic needs, off of the needs that every everyday needs, and now it's we're going to make money off of our very attention. And the thing that has stood out to me as I've been thinking about attention is that this emphasizes how valuable our attention is. Yes, it's been monetized, which is kind of gross, and this is where you have power. You have so much power because everybody wants your attention, they want your eyeballs, they want your brain tuned in. And they have people who understand brains working for these products, these systems, in order to maximize their ability to hold your attention, essentially, you know, to addict you so that you stay fixated on these things, instead of on the things that you might otherwise choose to be focused on. So I want to emphasize the power that you have. This is power that everybody has. It doesn't matter how much money you have or resources or anything like that. And yes, attention is a resource at this point, especially because it's been commodified, and it's yours, it's fully yours. So just to emphasize that real quick, because it's so easy to forget, we are pulled in so many different directions, and there is so much happening all at once, they are trying to make us forget. And I keep saying they, I really don't like the whole they, they, they thing. It bugs me so much. So when I say they, I am talking about the oligarchs, the people who are running the companies that all of this is moving through. I'm talking about the those who are in charge of the power structures, the ones who have the ability to make these decisions about how our attention is being manipulated. Those are the days that I'm talking about the people that are making money off of our attention. Basically now the. That gets a little tricky, as I'm going to talk about in a moment, because there are a lot of people making money off of our attention that are helping in some ways. What I mean by that is there are people who are making really helpful content online. So there are a number of people that I follow that you may follow that you find helpful informative, especially in this space where there is so much question and so much misinformation, disinformation, being able to follow an actual scientist, being able to follow somebody who was in a government office who is now providing information about stuff, being able to follow a doctor. Those things are helpful. And when we are making money, other people are making money off of us too. So I'm going to share a little bit of a substack article by Frederick Joseph that is called the death of social and social media, and he talks about how people have gotten sucked into the performance of social media. I saw an example of this where there was someone who was harassing a barista around, basically trying to get her to say a particular name, and instead, the woman brought her her drink, and she is all upset because the name wasn't said. Anyway, I'm not going to go into the details of that, but the way it was done. And this was the video being done by the woman she was talking to the camera as though she has this giant following. I have no idea if this woman has a giant following, but it reminded me of this article by Frederick Joseph, where he talks about someone that he follows, that he was friends with back in I think he said High School, where it used to be where she would just give updates and talk to friends, and at a certain point, he realized that it had shifted into this performance of her life where she's sharing as though she was a social media influencer, and he says the same circle she's talking to that she always had only now recast as spectators. Is if the point of posting wasn't to keep in touch with friends but to perform for an imagined crowd, she was the logical product of what social media has taught us to be, not people in community, but brands in circulation because we can make money. We can make money off of this space. But in the process of making money off this space, we are being made money off of it's like a real pyramid scheme sort of thing going on, and I've seen it in the online entrepreneur world that's like super pyramid schemey, even if it's not like a direct do what I do, though there's plenty of that. It is this, follow me, and then I make money off of you following me, and then other people make money off of me, and then there's all this talking about what other people are talking about, and reactions I'm going to react to this person, reacting to this person. I mean, it's, oh, it's a lot, it's a lot of attention. Anyway, Frederick Joseph's article is really powerful, and I highly recommend reading it's he's just, he's a poet, and you can hear it in even his not poetry writing. And I think even for people who aren't trying to be influencers, it's an important article. The reason I think it's an important article for everybody is because when we have so many people interacting with social media in this way, there's an energy there. And if you are on social media, if you are on any of these platforms, searches, YouTube, any of this stuff, what people are talking about determines what you focus on. So the more people talking about a particular thing, the more focus you have on that thing. This can be beneficial for things that really need attention. And that brings up the question, though, of what really needs attention, and how do you decide? Because the way these spaces work is off of your attention. What holds your attention so it is your subconscious. This determining what to pay attention to. In a lot of aspects of this, it can be the things that are actually important to you, but it might not always be. So this is where I want to bring in. What is attention. Let's talk really quick about what attention is and what are the dynamics of attention. This is where I got a little lost in the weeds last time. So I'm going to going to try not to do that and just link to the article on Britannica Online if you want to get into it. Because it really is, I don't know. I think it's really interesting, but I'm also a giant nerd. So so attention in psychology is the concentration of awareness on some phenomena to the exclusion of other stimuli, this creates a condition of selective awareness which governs the extent and quality of one's interactions with one's environment, and is not necessarily held under voluntary control. The other important aspect of this is that humans experience is determined by the way people direct their attention. And again, a reminder that we don't have complete control over the direction. There are so many things that impact our awareness. There are things that happen around us, there's happenings inside of us, all the things that are impacting our senses and also our memories, representations of past events that come to awareness under appropriate circumstances. Or you one could say inappropriate circumstances. We have incredible processing capabilities, and there's a limited capacity. And the part of our brain that has limited capacity is the intentional part. So we have really two parts of our brain. There's the controlled search or focal attention that's consciously established, that's mostly under our control. It demands a high amount of capacity and is strongly dependent on stimulus load. So whether it's internal stimuli or external stimuli, how much capacity our intentional focus has is very much related to that. Then there's the automatic detection or automatic processing. This is dependent on long term memory, extensive learning, and it comes into operation without active control or attention by you, the individual, and it's virtually unaffected by load. So this is a survival brain. We've talked about this before. I've talked about like the frontal cortex and that taking more energy. And then there's the survival brain. Lots of details to be found in this, but that's the important thing. Is that the more load you are experiencing, the harder it is to intentionally focus, which means that when we're in these online spaces that are designed to be addictive. They're literally designed. They have people on staff figuring out how to hold your attention. So the amount of stimuli coming in from external and internal and all of that, the more likely our subconscious brain, as it were, that automatic focus is going to be in gear, and that's what they're playing on. And so how much is it what you choose to prioritize, to be important, versus all of these things that we are consuming, that are being fed to us in ways that activate our system, that remind us again that this is important, this is important. This is important, and this is where we become overwhelmed. Because if we're paying attention, and a lot of you who are listening, I would probably all of you really want to be informed. You want to be mindful. You want to show up and do things that help. And in these environments, it's very difficult. Rehearsal is another way that feeds into our automatic brain, the repetition of incoming information over periods of time. So our brains are changed by the repetition of these dynamics. And this is, I would imagine, part of how you get someone in this space, in this social space where we're sharing and connecting, shifting over into this space of performance because we're being fed constantly. It's probably not even a conscious thing. It's this process that. But one might say it's the habituation, that's when a person's response to novelty wanes with a repeated and regular presentation of the same signal. So we get used to it, it becomes normalized, and now we don't even think about it, because what signals our brain to actually pay attention, like on our conscious attention needs to be a more and more loud stimuli, otherwise it becomes habituated. There's a lot more information. I love this article, just for the info. And again, like I said, I got lost in the weeds the last time. So it's linked in the show notes, if you want to nerd out too. And this brings me back to Frederick Joseph's article where he compares being in these spaces to being in a casino. I'm going to quote a little bit more of this article where he says watching is the whole point. Social media, in its current state, is simply a more democratized, more efficient and infinitely more invasive reality TV. We are all contestants now. The camera is always on. The audience is everyone else. The prize is attention. Tiktok algorithm doesn't even care who you know. Only how long it can keep your pupils dilated and your thumb flicking, which means the experience is like channel surfing in a casino, the randomness is not accidental. It is engineered to maximize stickiness. Instead of a network of friends, you get a slot machine of content. Any one post could be the jackpot. Virality is one spin away. The psychological effect of this cannot be overstated, once you internalize that every post could be the one that blows up. Every upload becomes a lottery ticket. You no longer post to communicate. You post to win. And I want to highlight here that even if you are someone who's just consuming any one post, could be the post that activates the feel good hormones, the ones that excite you. And maybe they don't feel good, maybe they feel activating, and it's still a system impact, just like an addiction. We're looking for the thing that moves us, that activates us, and it needs to be more and more dramatic casinos than to participate at all is to play by the casinos rules, and the house always wins. The performance is not an accident. It's a product, The Truman Show, but with everyone simultaneously playing Truman and the audience, what this emphasizes to me is how much our focus is being dictated by what we consume and by what is happening around us instead of what is actually important to you, what you choose to be important. And not only that, but it erodes our ability to know what's important to think, Oh, this must be important, but here's all these important things, and now I'm overwhelmed, and I don't know what to pay attention to. I don't know what is actually important, because my sense of everything is outside of myself. We are not deciding what matters anymore. We are being dragged around because our brains can't move as fast as the news cycle and all the information being thrown at us by everyone and everywhere, and we want to be informed people. And the other piece of this is that everyone thinks they have to have a take, and it has to do with this cycle, right? This attention, this lottery ticket, because having a take is what gets attention. So we are performing for the algorithms, because that is what sparks the attention, as as Frederick Joseph says towards this article, that really just hit me hard is who is actually watching? If everyone is too busy auditioning, the darker possibility is that the only true audience left is the machine itself, that the gaze we spend our lives performing for is already non human. And if that's the case, then the deepest irony of all is this in our frantic effort to be seen, to be witnessed, to be recognized, we may have surrendered the last truly human act of all a life unperformed. And I share this again, it's not just for those of us who are on social media trying to share it is something for those consuming it as well, because I know at least for myself and a lot of other people I have spoken with, we go on there looking for resonance, to feel not so alone, to feel like, oh, other people are seeing this too. And I talked about this in my episode on empathy, about how. How we really want to know that we are not alone because of the dynamics of what's happening in the gaslighting and all of these things, to be able to go, okay, there are other people out there that see this too, and it's not just me really helps. So I'm sharing this again, not to criticize being on social media, I really want to highlight that it's this is not to say don't be on there, but to be aware, and we're talking about attention and awareness here. So to be aware that when you are on there, you are spending something valuable, or you're really giving away something valuable, with the hopes that you're going to win the lottery, you're going to find the thing, you're going to be shown, oh, this is what to do. Or I'm going to feel better because somebody is doing something. Or, oh, that's helpful. I hope somebody who needs to hear this hears this. Or maybe I'm the one who needed to hear this, and it was actually helpful. There's plenty of that out there, and you have to know that the house always wins. And you are being shown what the system thinks is important, because we are on there and we are being exploited. That is what's happening on those platforms. So whether you get some benefit out of it is a thing you can look at, and you need to know that the house always wins. It's driven by how many eyes you get based on how quickly you can jump on this thing that everyone is talking about, how much information you can get, whether you can have a take, a different take, a more interesting take that people want to hear about, that you have to say and then share it. And that mentality drives what we choose to focus on, and it is consuming us. You are not a consumer. You are the consumed. We are the consumed, whether it is our attention or our content or both, we are the consumed under attention capitalism, we are the commodity. And there are people who know how to exploit the system and exploit you, and there are people who know that young people are more easily exploited with their developing brains, not to say that we aren't all susceptible to this. So okay, all of that said, what do we do about it? And this is where I I had a little bit, but I think we really need to focus in on, what do you do? And the first thing is to connect these spaces, these systems, thrive off of our disconnection, and I do mean with each other, but I also mean with yourself. We need each other. I've talked about this before, where we have Yes, we don't want to over individualize. We need community. We need other people, and it's really hard to exist in community if you don't know how to exist within yourself. So stealing back being Robin Hood with your own attention, giving it back to yourself, is one understanding all the stuff I just shared. The other thing is to connect with yourself, and it is hard when, again, we have all of the stimuli around us going pay attention to this, pay attention to that. This is important, that is important, and then activating that sense you're not doing enough. And so you need to be into doing and I need to do things. I need to do more. I need to go and I then you end up standing still because it's so much, or maybe you do end up doing, but maybe it's not the thing that you needed to do, because there are so many things to be done, and not all of them are for you to do. How do you know what it is for you to do, and it's not from what social media tells you that is information. What is on there is information. It is not discernment. And that is the big difference that I want to highlight, is that is not discernment to know what is yours to do to reclaim your power in that process is to learn discernment. So here are a couple of things that I want to invite you to do to start with that one is giving yourself a little more space than you might otherwise give yourself. Space to journal. Give yourself space to sit and listen. And actually, one thing, it might feel a little weird. Maybe this is very familiar to you, but move. Move your body and pay attention to your movement. I find this a little bit easier if you do like a dance party sort of thing, find some music and move as your body feels like moving. So maybe it's small movements, maybe it's kind of bobbing your head, maybe it's leaning back and forth, kind of rocking. Maybe it is full on improvised dance movements. You're on the ground, you're up in the air, whatever it is, and you may get to that point, allow it to evolve, but listen to what your body says. Maybe it is turning your head and swaying, whatever feels good, but listen to the music and really get present, because that is the secret to mindfulness, is being present. And the secret to discernment is, in part, mindfulness. And this is a reclamation of your attention. It is pouring into being super duper present. So that movement, what feels good to move? I'm going to listen to some music, and I'm just gonna feel what feels good to move? Maybe it's moving my arm out to the side and leaning over. Maybe there's a stretch involved, but really just listening to your body without plan, without structure, and moving, and that is a way to start reclaiming your focus. And then maybe, after doing that for a little bit journaling, or if you feel comfortable to do that with another person, do that with another person, where you're doing that together, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily synchronized, but just moving to some music together, and then sit down and share and talk to each Other. This is a way to bring your focus back to present, to your own awareness, so it's not caught up in all of the external stimuli, or even all of the past stimuli. It's really very present in your body, present to the moment. Now, if being in your body feels really uncomfortable. Maybe there's trauma there, getting present to your space, to your surroundings, touching things, feeling the texture, smelling some smells. We talked about this in the last episode with Bea, where we talked about emotional outsourcing. She gave some great strategies for getting present and really checking in. So use some of those. But this is where you start to reclaim your attention from the speed and all the doings and everything the next piece of this that's extremely powerful in and of itself. And then you may be like, Okay, now what slowing down urgency is a tool of this system to get us into a space where we're not really thinking, we're not really present, we're not really aware of where we are. So the next piece is being able to listen to ourselves, to connect with other people, and to know ourselves, to be prepared. So the things that are in your control in this environment, are preparing yourself, your nervous system, your being to be ready to notice when it's your turn to act, and to be able To act when it is time. And that takes intention, that takes presence, and that takes support, support to do the thing. I know the things that scare me the most in all of this, everything that's happening in the world, is one that I won't notice, that I won't do the thing or the right thing at the right time. This you notice the right wording if you've been listening for a while, those are flags when you're like the right thing, the right time, the right place, like all of these, the pressure that gets placed on it that is a constriction of our perception, which means that we are not as open to perceiving the possibilities and the things that we might be called to do, or might be the opportunity for us. So that fear, and then the fear that I won't be able to do the thing, not that I won't be able physically, but maybe willing, that I won't feel supported, that I'll be too afraid to do what I'm called to do. And so that's where cultivating the support to do the things when they are revealed to you as to what it is that you are called to do. And this could be anything from stuff at home to stuff in the wider world, social activism type stuff. It's really being present with yourself. Health and not all the time. That's not reasonable in the world that we live in. But having the capacity building the capacity, which is reclaiming your attention, doing things that help you stay connected to yourself, not just lost in the casino of the online spaces. The last thing that I want to flag that relates to this is particularly for parents. There's a lot out there that is really going after, like with intention, going after our kids, it's impacting their self esteem, particularly for girls and those socialized as female and trying to indoctrinate young boys. There's been a lot of talk, a lot more awareness of this. I've seen at least a couple posts that have really been highly concerning that I will link in the show notes. But I think as much as you might be like, Well, I don't want another upsetting thing. It's important, especially if you're raising boys like I am, to be aware of what's out there. I also will have a link to therapy Jeff, who has a great post on Instagram on tips for parents of white boys who don't want our kids radicalized online, and five things. Now, the thing is that the five things that he teaches to be able to show up to those require us to do our own work. Interrupting the victim's story very hard to do if you haven't interrupted your own and be aware of where it is in your life, because we all have one. This isn't a oh, well, I don't I'm not a victim. I don't act like a no, no. It's not about that. We all have one because it's cultivated in this space, and it often is tied to trauma, not capital T trauma, necessarily, but lowercase t trauma. And this is not to say that anybody was at fault if you had a traumatic incident and that you weren't a victim, you were a victim, and how we carry it forward does matter. The other piece is teaching emotional literacy. If you are not attuned to your own nervous system, it is really hard to teach emotional literacy. And I say this as someone who has struggled because of being in my own process of learning layers of emotional literacy, and I've had a lot of it over the years. If you heard my story, I have been fairly emotionally literate. And again, living in this society, we are conditioned not to have emotional literacy, and so it's really hard with our kids, because they tend to activate all of our stuff. If we're not solid in our emotional literacy, we can't show up to theirs, modeling healthy masculinity, and that can be for any gender parent, there are dynamics that tend to be imposed upon boys. I will give an example of one of mine. I read an article talking about how people stop touching young boys at a certain age, and I realized, oh my gosh, I have stopped hugging and cuddling my kids, even as young as, like four, and so I stopped that. I was like, No, we get back to these hugs. How did I lose that? Why did I stop doing that? These sorts of things are part of modeling healthy masculinities, treating them in healthy ways for growing into their own masculinity, teaching digital literacy. If you don't have digital literacy, and you have to have a whole lot more than most of us have, those of us who didn't grow up as digital natives, and even if you did, there's so much to know and understand about the dynamics online that if you don't look for it, you won't know, because you're only fed the things that people think you need to know. So it's hard to teach digital literacy if you don't have it. So having that and then building belonging that isn't online. Where do you have spaces of belonging? What do those spaces look like? So really cultivating your own spaces of belonging so that you can help them cultivate spaces of belonging. This is not easy. I say none of this to be like it's super easy. Just go do it now that I said it, no, it is a lot as a parent, as a human being in the world right now, these are not easy things, and they're probably some of the most important things, being able to show up and have conversations and. You can put as many restrictions on devices as you want, and if you're not having the conversations, there's only so much those things are going to do, because they're going to be exposed to things from friends, from teachers, from other adults, from the internet at a friend's house or at school, even there's so much being able to have those conversations, and it's never too late to cultivate those conversations. I had a great episode with Donna a while back talking about teen stuff that I will also link in the show notes. If you missed it. If this pertains to you, I highly encourage you to go listen to it and to reach out to her if you need help with a teen. And these are the things that we need to be able to connect with ourselves, to hear ourselves, to be present with ourselves, and doing some if you need a doing. You know, if you can sit in meditation, cool, I find it helpful to sit in silence. That's one way that I give focus to what matters, which is listening, listening for the divine, listening to the divine in myself, listening for the divine through other people, really sitting and listening. This is part of what being a Quaker, for me is about. That's our meeting for worship on Sundays. Is that listening process? But I also recognize that not everybody sits in silence really well. So again, dancing, moving, touching, senses, all of those things to bring yourself present and then be able to be in conversation, in conversation with yourself, for discernment, in conversation with others, for discernment, for your discernment, for their discernment, for support connecting so that You can be in charge of that most precious and apparently quite valuable commodity that you own that is yours to choose what to do with your attention. I hope this episode has been helpful for you. Again. If you have any questions, any insights that have come forward for you, thoughts you want to share, topics you want me to cover, please don't hesitate to reach out through any of the ways that I've listed in the show notes. And if you want support with any of these pieces, with the discernment process, with getting present, with the somatic work, the emotional work, all of those pieces I'm here to help you with. So if you are looking for support, please don't hesitate to reach out. Grab a spot on my calendar for a free exploration. Call. There is no obligation attached to that. We can really just check in on you. Discernment is the core of what I'm here to help you do, whatever aspect that is, so that you can then move forward the way you choose, not the way You're conditioned to choose or manipulated to choose or whatever, is really knowing yourself and moving in alignment with yourself and healing those pieces that are trying to stop you from doing that. That's what I'm here to do. So please don't hesitate to reach out and I will talk to you all next time.